It has been a hectic last few weeks with plenty of little jobs and little errands, pushed aside to be done “tomorrow.” This week gave us the opportunity to tackle those jobs, to reconnect with neglected friends and acquaintances and do my obligations to the web that have piled into an impossible mission. Every year, at around second week of November, we take a week off from work, as our work place become the gathering of party seekers and revellers enjoying the booze and the sun - it is the “fiesta week” after all.

This week, as I thought and would have loved it to be, was not a time for idleness and taking a break. Hubby tackled the garden and started where he finished off this summer gone. We also ordered a new wooden door for the main entrance, we are having the entrance gates painted and the swimming pool fixed tomorrow. I also made my own Christmas cards for friends and family, did some needed shopping (for under wears, ha ha), and had my teeth cleaned and checked at the dentist. I wanted so much to have a sleep-in at least for one morning and the only sleep-in I got was until 9am. (My idea of sleeping-in is going to bed late and not getting up until mid-day and lounging in my pyjamas for as long as I like. Sigh…)

The week break is almost coming to an end - the house is sparkling clean and the Christmas decors are even up! Yes, I have decorated for Christmas already – I only know too well I will not have time when the work kick-starts again. My blog is about to be updated which I am happy about and I only need to make one more phone call to a friend which I will do now…

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.”  - Harvey MacKay

My husband and I have a dog called Benson and we’ve had him for two years. He was a street dog rescued by a woman who used to own a bar near where we worked. She is an animal lover and had two cats of her own when she rescued Benson. We used to see her take Benson for a walk and my husband, who has more compassion for animals than humans, would pet Benson. Hubby has the tendency to greet the dogs before their owners in the street but eventually he got to know this woman quite well and the history of Benson. The woman lived in an apartment and her living space was quite small and she thought it was unfair of her to keep Benson in such a cramp place and because she worked a lot, she didn’t have time to devote herself for the dog. She wanted Benson to have a proper home and we knew we would have that ideal home for him since we have a big garden, both in our previous and present home, and hubby and I love animals. After a few meetings and dog petting, she agreed with a heavy heart to give us Benson. We assured her all will be well and Benson will have a fine home. 

This afternoon we saw Benson’s previous mistress and she was asking how Benson was doing. I felt by the way she talked about Benson that she missed him a lot even if two years have gone by. She also said she regretted giving him away but admitted it would have been selfish to keep him for she still live in her old apartment. We reassured her that Benson is doing great and I promised to print out Benson’s photo for her. She seems happy enough and deep inside I cherished Benson even more. I can’t imagine not having Benson with us. He has become so much part of our lives and ours in his.

When we first met Benson, we noticed he was abused before he was found by his previous mistress. A simple arm gesture would make the dog cower with apprehension and he didn’t like the look of the water hose in our garden. Despite his fears, he was friendly with every human he met. He is quick to make friends and he certainly loves a cuddle. He dislikes other dogs but he doesn’t mind cats. Whenever we take him out for a walk, strangers passing by look wary of him due to his size and his Alsatian looks but little do they know what a soft pussycat he really is. 

Today, Benson is a very confident dog full of life, energy and naughtiness. He is never aggressive but he will defend us and our territory if he feels it is threatened. He is loyal, loving and very playful and we love him to bits. It breaks my heart for the other woman who had to give him up but because she loves Benson so much, she gave him to us.  

“If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.” - Mark Twain 

It has been great the last few days at work and I have been enjoying it tremendously. Everyday is like a family reunion with the staff and our clients who have been coming over the last few years and everyday brings another new face that becomes part of such a big family. I enjoy these people a lot as much as much as I enjoy my job, even if it takes me away from my beloved blog. Here are some snaps of some people I have grown to care about and make my job worthwhile.

I called up my parents-in-law to see how they were doing. They live in Scotland and we live here in Spain, so we call each other on regular basis. As some of you know, I have been busy during the last few days trying to get into swing of things.  I realised only 2 weeks later I haven’t had a chat with my ma-in-law, who I preferably like to call Ma. I thought it was weird not to hear from Ma, so I put it down to her “knowing we are busy with our work preparations.”

Before I carry on, allow me to tell you a little story about her. Ma is a funny old soul who looks very fragile and vulnerable but in reality she is a tough cookie and very cunning. She is forever suspicious of people’s motives and I think that’s what keeps her on her toes at a ripe age of 80. Before I met my parents-in-law, my husband hardly had any contact with them – let’s face it boys are never the ones to send cards, neither write letters nor call. Hubby saw them occasionally when they came for holiday to Spain and their meetings tend to be brief. He never really had a great relationship with them in the past and that carried on to today. When hubby and I got married, I had this romantic idea of bringing the family closer together – after all I wanted to get along with my in-laws. Hubby warned me a lot about Ma which I took with a pinch of salt. I just thought he was exaggerating. Looking at the tiny woman who I called Ma, she seemed so angelic and so, so pleasant. I never had trouble with her during the last 6 years except maybe the odd times like when she decided to “advice” me on how to decorate my house. I simply told her politely, thanks for the advice but I am the queen of this house. Another occasion, when we were helping a friend paint their apartment, she told me that she hopes that our friend is not taking advantage of our kindness. I was so shocked when she expressed her feelings but I told her calmly, friends do nice things for each other. There are other incidents like these and they added up through the years and I just put them down to old age but hubby insists Ma has always been like that.

Anyway, when I did call Ma one day, I guess it really was a wrong day to call her. I got so angry with her petty whinging and complaints that I did something I have never done before – put the phone down on her. Oh I felt bad after but it was high time she was put right. This is such a long and complicated story, so I will just share the letter I wrote to her and maybe you can see where I am coming from.

Mother and Father,

First and foremost, I hope you are doing well. I would like to apologise for putting the phone down on mother the other day because I was upset by what she said and didn’t want to say anything I will regret. I would like to clarify things once and for all.

I called you the other day to ask if you are doing well. Mother told the news about sis and of course, I was upset like you are. Then mother asks me what was all that about with the October holiday being altered. I understood that hubby called up immediately as soon as he realised that he had made a genuine mistake. And yes it was a genuine mistake! I knew the apartment was available for April and I kept telling him that but he was convinced it was October for whatever reason. And if I remembered right, he mentioned that to you when we had dinner in Pinocchio’s, last time you were here. So, I thought Susan had made some changes but before I decided to book your flight I wanted to be sure and had to contact Susan first but they were away on holiday to Las Vegas. When we finally reached her, she later confirmed my suspicions that the apartment is available for April. As soon as we found out Darren called up and he spoke to father to tell him. So we are sorry we couldn’t call up any sooner!

Then secondly, you were upset that hubby was in England to buy a car. For your information, your son has been looking for a car via internet and every time he saw one that he liked, he phoned his friend Mal in England to ask him to check it in the garage it was advertised to see if the car was alright. Mal is quite good with cars and would advice hubby about it. Hubby didn’t want to fly immediately because we had loads of work to do in the house. He couldn’t have done that with you since you have no idea about cars, do you? The moment they found the car he liked he flew in to pay and drive off again. And this was no freaking holiday – we had loads of work, in case you forgot and we were expecting some plumbers and Darren didn’t want them coming to the house when I am on my own. He drove 26 hours from Harrogate in Yorkshire to our home non-stop to get back as soon as possible. But you had to get upset and think the worst of course.

Then you complained about George and Val getting picked up in the airport by hubby. For your information, hubby hasn’t been picking them up for the past 3 years because we’re busy at work. And even if we could pick them up, what’s wrong with that?  I have offered you numerous times we will send someone for you in the airport but you always refused. Then you made a statement that you saw us dropping George and Val in the hotel one night. Obviously this eats you up doesn’t it?? It annoys you to the core? That is really sad. How many times, after we had dinner with you in a restaurant, have I offered if you would like to be dropped off anywhere? In case you don’t remember, you have refused. You want to know the reason why we drop off George and Val in the hotel? Firstly, we do this because Val is disabled and George gets sore feet pushing her around all day. Secondly, we do this because George and Val are good friends, and friends do these things and we like them a lot. Thirdly, hubby doesn’t only do it to friends, we do it to our elderly customers who are disabled – we drop them off after a game of bingo and you know why? It’s part of a personal touch when you are running a business.

Then, another complaint mother made is, hubby never calls nor answer the phone. Obviously it is not enough for you when I call you up on both our behalf. I am not excusing Darren’s thoughtlessness but that’s the way he is. He’s always been like that hasn’t he? Before I came, I doubt it if he ever made an effort to write cards or buy presents. He told me when he was young you hardly celebrated Christmas nor was there much presents exchanged. Darren said that was understandable because money was tight. I understand that myself. That’s how he was raised and how you brought him up is not my fault. I have learned to live with it in the past 6 years which you have failed to accept in the last 42 years.

It’s always the case of thinking the worse in people and putting colour in someone’s actions without stopping to think what the reason behind it might be. Mother, you did the same thing with sis without trying to understand why she was lying. Even hubby thought there were some sorts of problems there. I even called up and advised you on it. You are always suspicious of someone’s actions like everybody is trying to get an upper hand with you or cheat you out of something. Only one thing I could say about this is, my father once said to me,”evil thinkers, evil doers…”

If this letter upsets you, I am terribly sorry but that is what I feel. I wanted the family to stick together but it always end up in argument. I get frustrated and everybody does as well. I tried my best to be a good daughter-in-law but I am fed up having to answer every action we make and in reality I don’t have to. Your son is another case. He is your son but he is my husband at the end of the day. I don’t excuse the pain he causes you but then again there might be an underlying reason for it. He treats me well although we had a rocky start to our marriage and I thank you for being there for me. I think the reason we are doing well now as a married couple is, I have learned to accept his flaws. Through my acceptance he was willing to meet me halfway to do his bit for me. That is what life is about, whether we like it or not – it’s full of compromises. Hubby will never change and neither will you and nothing can be achieved by petty grudges that’s brushed under the carpet, whingeing, making assumptions and thinking always the worst in people. Hubby is very practical person and not a patient man at all and I have gotten around it and I am sorry if you haven’t.

Mother and father, I love you like I love my parents and I would do things for you to the best of my capability but maybe that’s not good enough for you. I can’t do anymore than this. If you don’t believe any words I wrote in this letter, it’s not my problem anymore and I wash my hands and let this case rest. If you can’t understand where I am coming from, I give up trying to explain.

I have always brushed aside a lot of the silly mother-in-laws’ jokes you always get to hear….. until today, sadly to say.

Finally back to work. And I am so glad we are up and running. I have never been so keen on first days and the days leading up to the first day. It makes me very nervous - too many things to remember, to prepare, to discuss, and to decide and the list go on. 

My job description is calling bingo numbers – that might not sound a big deal but trust me when I say, it is when you constantly dream of numbers and you see people as walking numerals. It is a far cry from what I used to do – managing a hotel. Hotel assistant manager looks good on a paper but it’s a lot of hard work, has long hours and not at all glamorous – well with the exception of my work suit. (Hotel assistants are the jack of all trades but a master of none in the hotel industry.) And today, nothing has changed – I am still an assistant to my husband with whom I run the bingo. I never thought it would be possible to work with my husband since both of us have a stubborn streak but it works out just fine. So we are literally stuck together 24/7, and in case you ask, no I never tire of his presence. We’re both independent and pursue different interests outside work. 

One of the joys of coming back to work is, all garden work comes to a halt and allows me to socialise more through my job. We have a lot of regular customers as well as new ones every season, and that’s what is enjoyable about it – meeting new people. Majority of them come from the UK and occasionally we get the locals which consist of different nationality and British expats. It is like having one big extended family. The bingo we run is quite popular in our area despite some competition and we are frequented a lot by those who have been with us. Most of our newcomers have a tendency to end up becoming a regular not only because of the gambling side of it, but also because of our relationship we build with our customers. The atmosphere is great, and the music in-between the games are enjoyed by many. You could say it is fun bingo with a twist and service with a smile.   

My husband and I work everyday in the afternoon for about 5 and ½ hours from middle of September right through middle of May after which we get the full summer off. It’s a great job and surprisingly enough, very rewarding and challenging. The feedbacks and interactions we receive from our customers make our jobs fun and worthwhile. It is seldom nowadays to find work you can truly enjoy, appreciate and look forward to. My husband and I are indeed lucky. Work could either be fun or drudgery – it depends on your attitude. Hubby and I love fun. J

This is my answer to bingbackpluto’s question from BlogCatalog: Can you find “THE ONE” online?

Yes, I met my husband online – almost 7 years ago. (And just because I am from the Philippines, it doesn’t mean, I was a “mail to order bride”, which some people honestly believe) It was a weird time in a weird situation. I just broke up with an abusive and cheating boyfriend who we’re going to call M. Before M came along, I was a happy-go-lucky type of person with full of confidence and life, but two and a half years living with him brought along gradual, “so unlike me” changes. (Well, I am not going to dwell on this part of my life – I have to dedicate a blog post on this subject sometime later).  When I did finally gather enough common sense and courage to break up with M, I plummeted into a deep depression. I stayed at home a lot and my continuous neglect of my friends led to loneliness and self-pity.

One day, by chance I stumbled upon a dating site and I thought it was silly to even contemplate about it. Nevertheless, I joined, thinking it would be a distraction from my misery and besides, I had nothing else to lose.  I wanted to shake off that feeling of desperation and I was trying to convince myself that my reason for joining this dating site would be for fun, and only for fun. So I submitted my details, and heaven forbid my photo as well, which was accessible to the rest of the dating members. (What if someone I knew saw my details? Oh, well, we’re on the same boat then!)

Anyway, I had a few responses – some were from idiots, some from fantasists, some from men twice my age, some from pretty decent guys, and some from a different sexual orientation as me. I thought it was funny at that time and I just couldn’t take it seriously for reasons which I can’t remember anymore. One day, I received an email from a guy who we’re going to call D, who is now my husband. He was from the same dating site I was on. There was something about the way he introduced himself which caught my attention. He came across as an easy-going, breezy, and unpretentious type of person. Much to my chagrin, I emailed him back, thinking that nothing good will come out of this. So I thought.

After a few days of exchanging emails, we decided to take our new found friendship to the next level – chatting on the messenger and eventually, talking on the phone. In as much as I hated to admit it at that time, I was enjoying our conversations and I even started to look forward to his messages. We talked daily about everything under the sun and always in a manner that’s light-hearted and subtly flirtatious. What I initially admired in D, was his bigger than life persona – he is adventurous, unconventional, honest, ever so funny and an inherently good person. My admiration for this stranger only encouraged me to continue our correspondence and our chat, and my feelings for him were suddenly thrown into a whole different dimension. I was asking myself, “What am I doing? I just broke up with a guy and here I am thinking of silly things like love.” I was face to face with a dilemma: I could end up breaking my heart (into thousand pieces – again!) if I decided to carry on with this relationship, or I could miss a lifetime opportunity of meeting a fantastic man if I decided to be sensible and wait for the right moment. Well, I feared the latter and I decided to take the risk.

Two months down the line, I agreed for us to meet. I have given up reasoning and making excuses in my head and did what I do best – never giving up no matter how many times I get knock off my feet. I was in Austria and he was in Spain, and I took a huge step by flying over to Alicante to meet him for the very first time. 

Prior to the meeting, I was apprehensive, excited and very unsure but upon seeing him, all my doubts and fear dissipated. There, waiting for me was a man who was so happy and confident of that moment. He stood there with open arms and a stupid wide grin that made me laugh and made me feel at ease. We hugged like long lost friends and the rest came naturally. It was like we’ve done this before and I’ve finally come home. Yes…that was the feeling – it felt like coming home.  You know, it is hard to explain, but there is a certain feeling that comes over a person when you know you have made the right move and that day, I had that feeling and I’ve never been back to Austria since.

Six months later, we tied the knot in Gibraltar on June 27th 2003 and we are to this date happily married. The memory of our first meeting will forever bring a smile to my face and the moral of this story - Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.

Note.
Although there are risks meeting strangers online I figured that the risks is no more than your typical blind date or meeting strangers in a conventional way, such as at a party, bar, or at work. If one uses common sense and has a level head, then a search for a partner can be rewarding either online or in person.

Our good friend, Jayne from England came over to visit yesterday and it was really good to see her and to talk with her. She is by nature vibrant, witty, extremely funny, talkative and very kind. My husband and I adore her and her partner, who is equally such an amazing person.  Both of them used to work with us until Jayne was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer. It was a total shock when we first heard of the news just over two years ago. 

Anyway, we had a late lunch and talked about all sorts of stuffs and showed her around our new house. Looking at her, I realised she seem a lot more tired but her enthusiasm didn’t escape us. Despite the evident lack of energy, her eyes seemed alert and like always, she is a very keen listener. I can’t help but smile and think, “…that’s our Jayne…” Obviously, her illness, the complications of it and the medication has taken a toll on her but never on her fiery character which was always on the surface.  She is a constant reminder of how precious and fragile life is. Now and again, you hear stories of cancer and the people affected by it but you only realise the impact it has on patients when it happens within the circle of family and friends. Thinking about what she has been through, reminds me of my own mortality and my level of awareness of what truly cancer can do to a person. I am just thinking right now, if everything in life happens for a reason, I would like to believe that my friend’s illness was not in vain and that it made me a better person. If life is about learning lessons, I would like to believe that it wasn’t only a lesson for her but a lesson for all the people within her network of friends and family, whatever shape or form that lesson might be. If life is about repaying past karmic debts, I would like to believe that on her journey in fighting cancer, she sowed a character, which will reap a meaningful and rewarding destiny. 

In the end, Jayne won the battle and her weapons were her willpower, positive attitude, love for life, common sense, “never give up” attitude and of course, the support of her friends and family. There are still complications to tackle and the recovery is slow but sure. In the end, I know she will prevail and one day this experience will be a distant memory never to be forgotten by her, by me nor by the people who know her well. I am proud of her and her achievements and hope that no one will ever have to go through with what she has been through. Although, that’s highly unlikely, I hope that if it does happen to anyone, they will face their own battle with the same courage, faith and willpower as Jayne.

The norm, every Friday night (and sometimes, Saturday) for nine months in a year is to watch Rugby League. Everything else will be put on hold when Rugby League is on. Tonight’s game was Leeds v Saint Helen. And whatever dinner is made that night, it is called Rugby League grub.

Tonight’s grub was Pasta in a creamy mushroom sauce. It’s pretty simple and here it goes:

Ingredients:

• 1 whole onion - sliced/chopped
• as much garlic as you want - finely chopped
• pancettas or bacon bits - I used a packet which is about 100g
• mushrooms - any mushrooms would do but I used chanterelles
• 200g of sourcream
• salt and pepper
• pasta - any pasta you want

Let’s rock then…

1. Boil your pasta
2. Fry the onions, then throw in the bacon . Cook until the onion is glistening and the bacon slightly crispy
3. Toss the mushroom in and cook for about 5 minutes in moderate heat
4. Pour the sour cream, mix well and if it’s too thick pour a bit of milk
5. Put the garlic in (I always put it in the end because the garlic looses it’s taste when cooked right at the beginning)
6. Simmer for a few minutes
7. Mix your pasta with your sauce and enjoy

Autumn is just around the corner and as I have mentioned in my previous post, work will kick up again soon. Today I dread it but maybe tomorrow I will look forward to it.  Anyway, work is calling the bingo numbers which I have been doing  for the past few years and really it’s a great job. I work all through winter and more and get the whole summer off. The bingo relies mainly on British eldery tourists who can’t get enough of it on holiday. My hubby works with me and he sells the tickets.

I have been told lately that there will be a lot of tourists coming over on September. Summer has not been great and most probably, the recession is to blame.  One of the things I dread every Autumn, is when the elderly, sickly tourists start coming and spreading the flu virus. I have been pretty consistent in catching it yearly and sometimes twice. It can’t really be helped since I socialise with my customers. And with all the news about swine flu, I can’t help but feel slightly worried. Well, I am prepared this year (hopefully). I have been drinking a shot of apple cider vinegar and eating a teaspoon of honey daily. Now that might sound disgusting to you but I have tried this a year before and that Autumn I didn’t catch a flu neither a cold. Unfortunately, it’s a habit I truly distaste and eventually I slacked in taking it until I stopped altogether. I decided I will be more perservering this year.

Now as to why apple cider vinegar and honey. Firstly I’m into home remedies and illness prevention (if I can help it). I’ve known for sometime that vinegar and honey is good for your health. Now the reason why vinegar works is, vinegar is anti-fungal, anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-microbial as well as having anti-aging properties. No known pathogen can live in an alkaline environment. Once this vinegar is present in every cell in the body on a regular basis it will turn your system alkaline. As for the honey, well we all know that it is good for us, but i take it to take the bite off the vinegar.

So my dear friends, if you can stomach this little advice, maybe we can avoid the dreaded swine-flu. 

Ok, here’s my team for this weeked. I did pretty well last week so I hope I will be doing a lot better!